The Courage to Be Slim

Not happy with your weight? You feel frustrated because you are trying so hard to lose weight and even when you do, the pounds seem to slip back again? You do not feel in a losing battle, unable to be the weight you want to be?

Well, if you are, know that you are not alone. Many people have similar feelings and frustrations with the "Battle of the Bulge". As a psychotherapist, I have counseled many people with a variety of problems. One issue that often came up was the weight control. Over the years, I learned some important insights on why we have so many problems as our desired weight.

To begin with, I discovered that there are two parts of ourselves in our subconscious, which are in a tug of war. We call them the positive and negative parts. The good part is pulled in one direction as they say, "I want to lose weight." While the negative side, also called the fright, it pulls in the opposite direction, such as screams, "I fear to lose weight!" It sabotages all your efforts.

As you can see, if you are not the desired weight, it is often because the negative part is scared or in part in control. Therefore, you must get in touch with and overcome your specific fears about losing weight so that the positive side can win the battle. Here are some fears or negative decisions that have been discovered in the unconscious, which prevents them from my clients to be their desired weight:

1. "If you are slim and attractive, people refused me." (Peers were jealous of his attraction as has developed around the age of twelve.)

2. "There is sure to be thin." (She was molested.)

3. "If I am thin, I will draw another relationship and I'm afraid of getting hurt again." (She was injured in a previous relationship so he built a wall of fat to protect itself.)

4. "If I am thin, I'll be sick." (He was very thin and sickly as a child.)

5. "If I am thin, I am weak." (A bully attacked him when he was ten.)

6. "I am afraid I will not have enough food later." (As a child, was often hungry.)

7. "I can not handle all the attention I get from men." (It was very attractive when she was thin.)

8. "I'm afraid I just want him for my body." (He felt that he was not appreciated for his intelligence.)

9. "Food means love and attention." (As a child has only experienced the love and attention when it was fed.)

10. "I'm afraid to feel my feelings." (He stuffed his feelings, especially fear and anger.)

11. "I am angry with my partner, father, mother or lover." (I'll show you - want me to be thin.)

12. "I'm bad, I do not deserve to feel good." (He felt guilty and was punished.)

13. "I'm afraid that I will be tempted to have a relationship." (He was unhappy in his marriage.)

14. "I do not know who I was when I was skinny." (She was afraid of the unknown.)

Once customers have passed their fears of being their desired weight, often said: "This is the first time in my life that I'm finding my weight loss program without effort." They realized that their unconscious negative side was quiet and was no longer fighting their persistent efforts to be thin.

In summary, if you dare to be thin, so overcome your fears. It can really be who you want to be. You deserve to be that happy, healthy, attractive, slim person. Go for it!

(Excerpts from the book, e-books, and tape, "Dare To Be Slim")

© 1997 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, family therapist, speaker and author. www.helenerothschild.com ......